I just pynch a tree in the face
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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