i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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