I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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