Do you still have your period?
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
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