Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods

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  (313): Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods http://tfl.nu/gefu
  Replies (3) Good night (660) Bad night (917)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.

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  (231): I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed. http://tfl.nu/a1ez
  Replies (19) Good night (799) Bad night (3646)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!

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  (512): OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs! http://tfl.nu/zfxs
  Replies (7) Good night (692) Bad night (5143)
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  (585): View more from New York

  Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.

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  (585): Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night. http://tfl.nu/iu2u
  Replies (33) Good night (3789) Bad night (1189)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.

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  (202): the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other. http://tfl.nu/vc7e
  Replies (25) Good night (5091) Bad night (2283)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.

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  (734): Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window. http://tfl.nu/6pvh
  Replies (35) Good night (1624) Bad night (8632)
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  (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.

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  (709): Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob. http://tfl.nu/pavi
  Replies (16) Good night (1867) Bad night (4037)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though

  (289): View more from Ontario

  Lolll I'll be sleeping

  (905): View more from Ontario

  I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.

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  (905): I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though (289): Lolll I'll be sleeping (905): I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town. http://tfl.nu/s1jf
  Replies (2) Good night (2109) Bad night (676)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.

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  (401): The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success. http://tfl.nu/2cay
  Replies (2) Good night (1298) Bad night (469)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong

  (813): View more from Florida

  Thats admirable.

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  (719): he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong (813): Thats admirable. http://tfl.nu/7e4g
  Replies (7) Good night (1381) Bad night (668)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.

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  (704): CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY. http://tfl.nu/twru
  Replies (6) Good night (991) Bad night (372)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?

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  (630): This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite? http://tfl.nu/a887
  Replies (3) Good night (681) Bad night (334)
• Favorite

  (432): View more from Texas

  I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.

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  (432): I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling. http://tfl.nu/803g
  Replies (2) Good night (276) Bad night (499)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..

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  (973): I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter.. http://tfl.nu/t4wg
  Replies (1) Good night (262) Bad night (478)
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  (323): View more from California

  He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.

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  (323): He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him. http://tfl.nu/swjk
  Replies (5) Good night (968) Bad night (217)

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