I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
bring money and cleavage
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped