i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
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