He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
