Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
