feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
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