Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
