I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
