I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
