Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
