This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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