it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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