Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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