so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
