...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
