Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
