goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
