ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Randomize
