i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Randomize
