Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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