I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
