Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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