you guys were way drunker than both of me
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
