I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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