She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
