he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
