i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
