Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
