That's intense
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
My cat gives me a boner
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
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