As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
