Where are you?
In a non slutty way
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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