just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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