I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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