i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
