it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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