soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
