i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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