we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
