Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
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who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
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We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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