so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
