I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
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Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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