3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
The convent might be a nice break from real life
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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