just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
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