do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
