If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
areolas are like halos for boobs.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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