She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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