that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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