If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
the room spins SO much faster in panama
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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