im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
