I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
