Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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