I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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