so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
