Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
