Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
